Johnny 5 Is Unfortunately Alive

     I was recently leafing through a book on bars and bar culture (because the book had lots of pictures), and i came across Robobar (pictured above).  Now I love robots as much as the next guy.  It's a guilty, geeky pleasure to see the latest MIT creation on youtube or see some extremely, extremely creepy attempt by the Japanese to make a robot look and act like a socially-stunted airline attendant without full use of her joints.  But robot geeks of the world, there are two things you should not try to recreate: 1. schoolteachers and 2. bartenders.  Just give it up.  Bartenders are the cornerstones of society.  They see the best and worst of humanity on a weekly basis....celebration, mourning, found love, lost love, friendships beginning, friendships ending, lottery wins and jobs lost. 

     So i ask you, what is Mr. Robobar going to say to a guy who smashes through the front door with a ten-mile grin spread across his face because his first child was just born?  I'll tell you what he's going to say, "what's your poison?" or some schlocky programmed phrase that's going to come out sounding like HAL from 2001 in bad community theater.  And when the guy asks for a Rye Manhattan, he's gonna get a lukewarm Zima.  That's how all these things inevitably end.  I'd personally take that creep from the Disarrono commercials over Robobar any day of the week.  And that is saying something.

 snideways said:
On the other hand how often has a carbon-based bartender wished they could respond to a red-faced patron's wine-enfused eloquence with a simple "Does not compute".Also, Bad Robot Recreation #3: no robot hookers, please.  Because that is not oil.
September 14, 2007 6:46 PM

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