Events

White Trash Wine Tasting 2009 Has Arrived

     It's amazing how every food critic worth their weight in cheese whiz has dubbed WTWT '09 (pronounced "wuht wuht oh nine") the food event of the century, only to change their minds the following year when we do this event again.  It's that stupendous.  In the past you have tasted such solid gold hits as "Charcuterie de 7-Eleven" (Slim Jims) paired with Malbec and "Gâteau au Chocolat en Plastique" (Ding Dongs) paired with 10 year Tawny Port.  Well, after you attend WTWT 2009 on Saturday, September 12th, get ready for the rest of your life to completely suck in comparison.  The menu...

We begin with the palate-cleansing "Ecorces Frites de Porc" (or fried pork rinds), paired with Bastide Blanche Bandol 2005, France.  Smoky and piggy mixes with lovely, earthy, gamey mourvedre.  Ridiculous.

Followed by "Fromage Liquide Sur le Pain Blanc" (or cheese whiz rolled in wonder bread), a dish so simple and smart it is legally considered a member of MENSA, expertly paired with Vinedo de los Vientos Estival White 2007 from Atlantida in Uruguay.  This Gewurztraminer blend makes Wonder Bread and spray cheese taste like...victory. 

And then our most ambitious dish of the night, "Cocotte en Terre Frite de Cube en Pomme de Terre" (or tater tot casserole), a flavor medley so devastating that 45 people have already cancelled their RSVPs for fear of taste over-stimulation.  Wusses.  This main course will be paired with the Ken Brown Duncan's Cuvee Pinot Noir 2006 from the Santa Rita Hills in California.  

And finally, the coup de grâce of this enchanted evening, "Sucrerie de Citron Enveloppée Par Bacon" (or bacon-wrapped lemonheads).  Says one taste tester, "...it's like one of those kick-ass David Blaine stunts....but...like...in my mouth." 

This salty sweet dessert course will be paired with the HM Borges 10 Year Old Reserve Malmsey Reserva Madeira from Portugal.  While even garbage would taste good with this nutty, marmaladey heaven-sent dessert wine, the citrus, fat and salt of our white trash dessert selection makes me just want to shut the hell up and eat.